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cleansing.

  Question of the blog: “How does your room looks?” I have always had this theory that the way your room looks determines the inside of your mind. My bedroom has always been my safe place since I was a kid. I cried, laughed, danced, sang, worked, and rest there my whole life (well, except when I moved to Jakarta). But nevertheless, let me rephrase the question, ‘ How clean is your room? Is it tidy enough? Colorful enough? Comfortable enough? Suitable enough for you? ’. Those are the questions that have been stuck in my head for the past few years. On how each bedroom of each individual, represents their character. From the way you decorated your desk with every little tiny thing that you kept to the walls that are filled with your life elements, they are there for reasons you might not realize consciously.  My bedroom is a mix of three personalities, not because I have three personalities, but because I share the bedroom with my sisters (I have more than three personaliti...
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Recent posts

don't expect too much.

Dear Friend,              I don’t really know where I should start with this one. Honestly, life has been very not that easy for me. I was planning to write you the continuation of my previous blog, but unexpected things erupted very suddenly, and I needed the time to process my thoughts and emotions through it all. A couple of days after I posted  last teenage-year,  things just went out of control. I don’t really know if I should write about it in detail because I am afraid that the person that is involved in the matter would not be very happy about it. I don’t want to cause another chaotic event, so I am just going to talk about it in an allegory way. I guess this post is going to be quite different than my previous writings because I am trying to make the story vaguely as possible so you can understand my philosophical thoughts while you don’t really get the bigger picture of what happened last December. ...
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turning twenty in twenty-twenty two.

birth-day / ˈ bərTH ˌ dā/ noun the anniversary of the day on which a person was born, is typically as an occasion for celebration and the giving of gifts. I don’t remember why the sudden gloominess always occurred whenever it was my birthday but from what I have always remembered the relationship I had with my birthday(s) are always rocky. Maybe it’s because I used to compare the way I celebrate my birthday with my friends in school and most of the time I would be disappointed on the day. My friends used to have all of these celebrations during their birthdays where they invited their amazing friends (Sometimes I was included and sometimes I wasn't) with their amazing star guests and little Epi was sad because of the contrasts. Although I was invited to some of their birthdays when I was a kid, I tend to compare their birthdays with mine. I tend to question whether it’s alright to celebrate my birthday the way I want to and not the way people expect me to do it. Yes, parties ...
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backburner.

  What is a backburner? back-burner /ˈbakˌbərnər/ |verb| postpone consideration of or action on. I found out about the verb for the first time after hearing one of the masterpieces Nicole Zefanya has produced. I have been a NIKI fan and listening to her new (at the moment) album was nothing but therapeutic and poetic. Her songs have been a comfort for me to have a place to which I can relate to. I just never thought that this specific song would hit me to the core with the lyrical and musical arrangement.  What does it mean to be a backburner? In the position of something that will not receive immediate attention and action. Have you ever been a backburner? If not, then I am happy for you. If yes, then I am here to tell you that I relate. Sometimes I wonder whether I am doing  too much  or  not enough  for the wrong people. I know I said that the purest form of love is when you love them with all of your heart without anything in return, but I am beating my...
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reopening old chapters.

Wassup peeps 👋🏻 I know I said on my previous blog that I would be writing about some books recommendation that I have been reading, but I think I am not in the mood to write about that now. Sorry, a lot has been going on right now. So, here I am writing my thoughts down so I won’t be overthinking too much. By ‘too much’ means ‘over too much’ 😀. There have been a lot of things on my mind that I don't think will make any sense but here I am writing about them anyway. Do you remember the student exchange program that I was talking about in my previous post? Well, the truth is, my Compulsory Study Abroad has been occupying me with a lot of things needed to be done. I am going to South Korea in less than two weeks and I have no idea what am I doing right now. I mean, I am choosing my courses to attend later on in my university after all of the hecticness on my visa application, insurance, bank statement, etc, I am filled with lots of emotions right now. I have always wanted to study ...
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