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backburner.


 

What is a backburner?

back-burner /ˈbakˌbərnər/

|verb| postpone consideration of or action on.



I found out about the verb for the first time after hearing one of the masterpieces Nicole Zefanya has produced. I have been a NIKI fan and listening to her new (at the moment) album was nothing but therapeutic and poetic. Her songs have been a comfort for me to have a place to which I can relate to. I just never thought that this specific song would hit me to the core with the lyrical and musical arrangement. 





What does it mean to be a backburner?


In the position of something that will not receive immediate attention and action.



Have you ever been a backburner? If not, then I am happy for you. If yes, then I am here to tell you that I relate. Sometimes I wonder whether I am doing too much or not enough for the wrong people. I know I said that the purest form of love is when you love them with all of your heart without anything in return, but I am beating myself because of it right now. I was reading a book called ‘The Art of Thinking Clearly’ by Rolf Dobelli and in one of his lessons, he explained how we should learn to let things that aren't correlating with ourselves anymore go~ 


Have you ever been in a situation where you are longing for something or someone because you are considering all of the time and effort you have put into them? As if you can’t let them go because you don’t want your effort to go to waste? I think I am in that situation right now. I am holding into the not-so-correlated people that I used to correlate with. Honestly, it is not as great as I thought it would be. I thought that if I kept sailing the broken ship, it would prevent it from sinking. Turns out, sailing by yourself is exhausting and terrifying because you will never know when the ship is about to sink. 


I don’t want to be a backburner but I understand why am I being the backburner. That’s why it is complicated. I understand their point of view and I respect their decisions, but I am also tired of cruising the ship alone. I guess sometimes complicated things can’t be simplified because they are meant to be complicated. Through those complex figures, we can learn how it will be more complicated to try and simplify them. 


So, to end this short post of my thoughts, I am going to give you some questions that might be good for you to wonder. 




Are you a backburner?

or 

Are you caring for the wrong people?





Are you going to lose yourself trying to fit into the wrong set of puzzles?

or

Are you going to walk away and find another set?





If you can choose to reset your boundaries, how would you do it?

Would you return to them or restart over?





With love,

epi.

[23.19] 03.09.22

Seoul, South Korea



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