Hello there!
Grow as We Go
What comes to your mind when you hear the word ‘mistake’?
To some people, mistakes are something that must be avoided at all costs
because a mistake shows the flaws of a person. Standardization also has its
influence on how humans perceive the definition of mistake and how mistake,
most of the time, being position in the negative aspect of life because society
labels ‘mistake’ as something that we should be ashamed of, and in some cases,
one mistake could undermine all of the hard works and good deeds that the
person has done in the past. Therefore, on an organizational scale, it is
difficult to comprehend that making any ‘mistake’ is acceptable, given the
variety of factors on how society labels ‘mistake’ as a bad influence or
embarrassing. However, I beg to differ. From my point of view and experience,
‘mistakes’ are the reason that makes us human. These mistakes give us the
realization that we, as humans, are flawed creatures and therefore, not
perfect. Although mistakes should be avoided, mistakes are inevitable at times
because we cannot control everything that revolves around us. Mistakes should
be seen as challenges that we should tackle because mistakes are the reason
humans become who they are at the present moment. From mistakes, we know and
learn about the flaws, which helps us in becoming a better version of
ourselves. Mistakes open opportunities for us to grow because we have learned
from those mistakes and never make the same mistake twice.
Talking about mistakes, let me tell you a story from my
personal experience regarding the mistakes that I did during my teenage years.
Back then, I was a very shy and quiet person. I did not know how to talk in
front of a lot of people and therefore I did not have that many friends. I was
not that bright of a student and most of the time I got detention because of my
attitude as well as the result of my report paper. It is not unusual for the
teacher to call my parents to school because of my academic results and I
sometimes rebelled throughout the years. I was very awkward and an anti-social
person who does not like to socialize that much. Thus, I spent most of my time
alone doing unproductive things as I was not motivated about anything. I was so
scared about going out of my comfort zone that I kept on doing those
unproductive things, unhappily, for years. It was the end of grade 9 when I
realized that it was time to change my habit because I felt that I need to
improve my academic scores. However, things happened the way I did not expect
them to be. Everything went south and it was disastrous, chaotic, all in all, a
messy experience for me. I was lost, confused, despaired, lonely, and honestly,
it was depressing for me. I did not have any shoulder to cry on and I did not
have any friend that I could trust. Consequently, I endured walking that dark
tunnel all by myself until I graduated from Junior High and started my High
School years.
I soon realize that I need to get out of my comfort zone
because I needed to change my habits and change my life. I started my process
by being more active in class, took more attention to the teachers, getting
involved in a student organization, and socialize more to get out of my comfort
zone. Although I cannot speak in front of people, I tried to join my school’s
choir, and surprisingly, I got in. It was a pretty strange experience for me
because I did not have any music knowledge. Then, I join the team and I had
many difficulties during the first couple of months in joining the
organization. Because I wasn’t used to talking in front of people, it took some
time for me to adapt to the environment. Adding the fact that I wasn’t the
popular one in the team and most of my friends have their groups that they hang
out with, leaving me no choice but to stay quiet most of the time. I also got
scolded by the coaches most of the time because I did not sing loud enough or
because my voice was still too flat for the song. I was a bit insecure because
most of the members were already good at what we were doing, and I had
difficulties catching up.
There were also some major conflicts during those times
that slowed down or decreased the productivity of our practices. For example,
most of us were struggling to come on time during our practices and it angered
our coaches which then made the situation in the room uncomfortable. This issue
wasted a lot of our valuable time, to the point where the practice became
inefficient because it kept on happening over and over again. Another example
was that as choir members, we were obliged to take care of our voices, and
therefore we should not consume too much cold beverage or greasy food because
it could affect the quality of our voices. However, most of us did not follow
the rules or regulations and therefore sometimes the quality of our voices did
not reach the standards that the coaches expected. Due to the differences in
the social status of the members, we started our cliques which on multiple
occasions provoked some dramas. Not to mention the miscommunications and
misunderstandings which spark the flame of conflicts. The fact that we were
going to participate in an international competition, it was really important
for us to settle things down and talk about it as those dramas were very heated
at the moment which was very crucial to affect the quality of our choir during
the competition.
You are probably wondering why I am telling you about
this story when I was discussing the definition of mistakes. The reason is that
I would like to show you how mistakes had allowed my team and me to grow and
learn together. One of the mistakes that I did was when I stayed in a bad
mindset and I was too scared to go out of my comfort zone. It took me years to
realize that problems and mistakes are the real reason how humans could be
better versions of themselves. I remember that I felt miserable most of the
time because I was not happy about my life and about everything that I have
gone through. Now, when I looked back into those problems or mistakes that I
had throughout my life, I am glad that they occurred in my life because now I
am a better version of who I was back then. From all those heavy, anxious, and
sorrowful nights, I have learned the lesson that when you have the mindset that
mistakes are supposed to be taken as lessons, not something that you should be
ashamed of. Every single problem and mistake that I had or did, made me realize
the faults that should be avoided in the future because I have learned from my
mistake. Just as Mark Manson states in his book, ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck’, humans learn from something that they had experienced,
tasted, felt, touched, and smelled. One of the examples that he had given in
his book is that when we were a kid, we were so fascinated and interested with
a lot of things. We did not know that the teapot was hot or whether if the ice
cream is too cold, it will hurt your teeth. Therefore, our parents tend to give
us the instruction that we should avoid most of those things happening.
However, as children, we did not believe them and most of us still got burnt
and we still had our toothaches. The phenomenon happened because as humans, we need
to experienced things to stimulus the memories as a reminder of how we need to
prevent certain things and do certain things to get into our purposes
The same phenomenon happened to my teammates as the choir member. Most of us did not realize how punctuality is a very important thing and therefore we, as a group, should not come late because it will affect the effectiveness and efficiency of our practices. Most of us then realized that drinking cold beverages and eating greasy food could affect the quality of our voice, which then lead to our coaches being mad because it could affect the opportunity for us to win at the competition, therefore we know that we should have not done it again because the competition was a very important thing for all of us after all of the hard works and dedications that we have put up with. We also realized that having cliques in the team is acceptable if only it doesn’t affect the team’s teamwork and it can be the source of the group’s harmony and solidarity. We also learned that we should be more rational and mature in taking decisions or giving any advice to each other so that we could reduce the tension between teammates. In the end, we were very proud and satisfied with the result that we were given because we were able to bring home three gold medals. To conclude, we realize that making great relations between each other is important because to reach our goals together we should be doing it together with harmony. Although we had experienced many obstacles and the process was not easy, as long as we work together and we believe in each other, everything is possible.
These personal experiences had given me the realization
to not be scared of mistakes or problems because those things are the real
reason for how we could improve our potential and become a better version of
ourselves. From what I have read from the book ‘IKIGAI – The Japanese Secret to
a Long and Happy Life’, there are ten rules to fulfill a life full of wisdom
and happiness. One of them is to stay active and never give up on your dreams.
It means that no matter what obstacles are ahead, you should always try to find
your ways to tackle them down to reach your goals rationally and ethically.
Another rule states that you should surround yourself with good friends, which
means that friends are the best medicine that could be there for sharing your
thoughts and stories, whether it’s bad or good, getting advice, having fun,
dreaming, and in other words, living together
References:
Garcia, H., & Miralles, F.
(2017). IKIGAI The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life. New York:
Penguin Books.
Manson, M. (2016). The Subtle Art
of Not Giving a F*ck. HarperOne.
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